WANTED FOR ACTING LIKE A REBEL
Wanted for possessing 1960's Cool
Wanted for Possession of Swag with intent to distribute
Failing my first breathalyzer
Getting Kidnapped by these two skirts
Wanted by Interpol for questioning in the assault of her next door neighbor.
Wanted for stealing fruits and veggies while looking stylish.
Wanted for failing a breathalyzer at Daycare (a 4th degree cutie violation)
Wanted by Interpol for entering too many foreign marathons.
Wanted for hunting down Yankees and then writing about it. Also guilty of loving his grand-daughter, Alexis, unconditionally even though she is a teenager, now. (Secessionville reenactment, 2010, Boone Hall Plantation, Charleston, SC)
Wanted for being a Redneck Mom from Rogersville, TN, last seen headed for Austin.
Federal Judge Billy-Bob "Bubba" Hogg , who presided over my last Court case.
Wanted for questioning in six murders, fourteen bank robberies, racketeering, extortion, and 1248 pounds of meth production--just another Picture Day at Hazelton USP.
Top Right: For acting like Bonnie, while driving Clyde crazy.
Row Two, Left: For faking his own death for profit, Right: For horsing around.
Row Three, Left: For my next cellmate, Right: For refusing to play catch in violation of the Geneva Dog Convention.
Bottom: For showering in public.
Row Two, Left: For faking his own death for profit, Right: For horsing around.
Row Three, Left: For my next cellmate, Right: For refusing to play catch in violation of the Geneva Dog Convention.
Bottom: For showering in public.
Wanted for wasting good beer while singing off key, in violation of the Karaoke Act of 2012
Wanted for "Redneck Mom of the Year".
Editors note: There are many redneck moms who compete for this honor, and there are three separate areas known as Western Tennessee, Middle Tennessee, and Eastern Tennessee that send their finest to the pageant but only one can be crowned "Ms. Redneck Mom".
Editors note: There are many redneck moms who compete for this honor, and there are three separate areas known as Western Tennessee, Middle Tennessee, and Eastern Tennessee that send their finest to the pageant but only one can be crowned "Ms. Redneck Mom".
"Wanted for using whole hog and pork rinds for culinary purposes."